We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
