What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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