its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
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that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize