Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
