Will you blow on my dice?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize