I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
