tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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