Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize