I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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