So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
