hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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