brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
