she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize