Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
