another moral hangover. fuck.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
