that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
