A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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