I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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