That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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