I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
