I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
