U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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