Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
