Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
