what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
