ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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