my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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