I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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