no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
