dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She tied me up with her honor cords...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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