i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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