the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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