Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
