I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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