Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
