his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you never un-have a 4some
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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