i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
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Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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