I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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