I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
