omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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