I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
