I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my liver is dry heaving
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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