That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My dad just said "fuck circus"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
