Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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