this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
