omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
