In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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