I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
