Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
