Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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