Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
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This baby is an asshole
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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