Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
