Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also, beer. Big fan.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
