I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
