Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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