Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
